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Nyoka exploration story

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Post by Rhynn Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:11 pm

I had some inspiration for a story about Nyoka, so I started writing it Smile It's the story of a girl who becomes a GenCorp Explorer and her adventures in the Nyokan solar system.

This is the first draft of the beginning; it will need to be re-written eventually and it's obviously just the beginning. But I'd like to get some opinions on it already Smile

Spoiler:
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Post by gragohunter Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:35 pm

I want more! Very Happy I'm curious to her decision... and her future

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Post by Rhynn Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:43 pm

:O Grago! I didn't notice you here yet! But yeah, I do want to write more, just don't have that much time right now xD
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Post by Narli Thu Aug 04, 2011 5:53 pm

Rhynn, will you explain why Erin and Aldon have such a negative view of GenCorp? I'd really like to know, because they're the good guys, right?
Anyway, great story. I'll second gragohunter: I want MORE!

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Post by Rhynn Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:00 pm

Yeah I still have to find a way to incorporate it into the story. But basically GenCorp sorta took over the world and there will always be people opposing that. For Aldon and Erin I was thinking they lost their jobs because of GenCorp.
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Post by Narli Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:09 pm

I guess there's two sides of the medal to many things, including GenCorp. But them taking over the world? Not convinced on that one. Mind you, I think it's a good idea to show some of the darker sides of Project Nyoka's story, but exaggerating too much may conflict with the general context/canon. But Erin and Aldo losing their jobs because of GenCorp expanding and getting bigger is very plausible.
Please don't take this as an offense, it's just my opinion, others will like the idea, I'm sure. And I still think it's a great story. *craves for more*

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Post by Rhynn Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:42 pm

Hrm yeah maybe I'll have to let GenCorp be slightly less powerful xD

I'm still playing around with the plot, your comment will help me Smile So thanks ^_^
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Post by Narli Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:54 pm

Hey, Rhynn, I thought about that "negative GenCorp"-thing and came up with something that may be used as a subplot. You said you had the idea of them taking over the world and all, but I wasn't coniced etc. What if there was some internal struggle with corruption? You know, the company started out ver idealistically and with the honest intention of helping everyone, but then some power-crazy people got in there and try to abuse the power they gain with it to control the markets, economy, politics and such by using their influence within the company as way of getting whatever they want.
Just an idea, tell me what you think of it.

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Post by Zovesta Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:25 am

I like it! :3

Pretty realistic, and fairly depressing. Good job.
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